Ladies Rock Camp Archives

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I owe someone a thank you note.

Last last weekend, I stood on a stage with 3 other women and played bass in my first rock band. It was a culmination of 2 days of meeting total strangers – with little to a lot to no musical experience, and being in a band with them, and thinking that they were the coolest people in the world, and wondering WHAT AM I DOING HERE and a mad karaoke party, and finally, belonging.

If I rewind to what are known as “the formative years”, I’ll tell you I wasn’t really Miss Outgoing. I’d clam up in front of strangers. I remember my mother telling people we were shy. There are photos of us with lowered chins and sneaky upward glances that were probably taken by strangers we were too shy to even look at. Past that phase, the awkwardness manifested into insecurity (typical teenager, right?). I wouldn’t discuss my favourite music with people I thought were too cool for me. I wouldn’t even talk to them.

Last year around this same time, I spoke in front of mostly people I didn’t really know that well except that they were by far some of the coolest women and humans on this planet. It wasn’t so much as I was speaking in front of people but that I was talking directly to women I idolise for being so revolutionary. My body turned very warm, I was shaking, and stuttering but I spoke. I didn’t even need to but when my turn came, I knew I had to get over this pre-anxiety anxiety.

This year, I played bass in an effing band. It’s something I would have never done for myself. I’m still always overthinking everything and feeling like I can never quite live up to the hype that my existence sometimes (rarely) creates. Somehow someone knew and they gave silly me a chance to leave all of that heavy shit aside and be in a band for 3 days. They gave me my favourite vocalist, my favourite drummer and guitarist. They gave me years worth of missed chances at hanging out not just talking *about* the band but actually being *in* it. Then they gave me red lipstick. They gave me Tri Bull.

This all looks very far from a thank you but trust me, gratitude has been pouring out of my skin. I got the rock camp glow. Life has been kind of rollercoaster-y for me these past few years (please take a seat and read this blog. You’ll see). But I’ve always had solid constant sources of power (my family yay!) to bring me right back up from these slumps. In 2012, I added photography and in 2013, it was Rain City Rock Camp for Girls (RCRC). Volunteering for this organisation has been nothing short of feeling like I’m walking around with a bag full of lightning bolts and wisdom to know when I need to use them or pass them around to those who might need them more. If you’re reading this and you know me even from limited interaction, you should know that I am my best self because of these women. I take that out into the world with me as much as I can and I try my best everyday to mould myself exactly on the values this organisation was founded on. It’s inclusive, it strives to be diverse (I love that!) and it gives us the tools to be positive role models to the people in our lives. When you go around trying to be under the radar, it’s like lightning to realise you’ve been noticed. It’s enough for me to volunteer but I know I’ve gotten so much more out of being a camper.

My thank you note is also encouragement for you to get involved as little of as much as you can. Right now, they have a wishlist you can view here and also a Disneyland-esque volunteer opportunities in Seattle and the South Sound the summer, which you can sign up for right here and here. World-famous musicians will play for you at lunch time and also be fellow volunteers WHAT!! This is not an exaggeration.

Thank you to all the donors and people that form the backbone of this organisation. Thank you for asking me to come to Ladies Rock Camp and then giving me a coach I’ve always admired and a band that I really want to go on tour with. Maybe? Yes? You really really really change lives in a way that can be hard to put into words (….she says after writing 1 million paragraphs). You gave this publicly quiet one the space to be heard and this is my shout out to you.

If you’re visiting this space for the first time, hello! I know it’s strange that I write about fish and thank people for changing lives in the same post but it’s impossible for me to separate food from real life stuff. These two things go together and my blog does not ignore that. It would mean the world to me if you share posts if you like them but I’m just as happy with awkward sideways glances, a comment in person or on the post. I accept them all.

Now for the food.

Notes:

The way I’ve made the fish is inspired by how my family in Goa makes it. It’s the most basic marination most people use for seafood in my state. We even leave out the garlic. The only difference here is that I used paprika instead of chilli powder and lemon juice instead of lime. There is still some spice in this dish thanks to the slaw dressing.

Ingredients

For the fennel slaw

1 medium shallot, halved and thinly sliced
1 tbsp sugar
Big pinch of kosher salt
1/4 cup apple cider vinegar
2 heads of fennel, quartered and shaved to 1/8 inch thickness
1/2 heaping cup of fresh dill, thyme and mint, roughly chopped
1/4 cup golden raisins
3 tbsp lemon juice
1 tsp honey
1/4 tsp red pepper flakes (add more if you want more heat)
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
Salt and pepper, to taste

Toss the shallot, sugar and salt in a small mason jar and let it sit for 5 minutes. Add the apple cider vinegar, cover the jar and swirl around to mix well. In about 10 minutes, scoop out the shallots with a fork.

Add the fennel, shallots, herbs and raisins to a salad bowl.

Whisk the lemon juice, honey and pepper pepper flakes in a jar. Pour in the olive oil in a thin stream whisking until combined. Add salt and pepper to taste.

Refrigerate all the food until the halibut is cooked.

For the fish

1 lb halibut, skinned and cut into 2-inch chunks
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/4 tsp turmeric
1/2 tsp paprika
1/2 tsp kosher salt
1/2 lemon, juiced
Cooking oil, to coat the bottom of a pan

Toss all the ingredients in a bowl and let it sit in the fridge for an hour (minimum).

Place a pan on medium-high heat and coat the bottom with cooking oil. Once the pan is sufficiently hot, add the halibut to it. The fish should sizzle as soon as it touches the surface. Cook on one side for about 4 minutes without disturbing it. Peek to see if it has darker sear marks and then flip over and cook for 2-3 more minutes on the other side.

To assemble:

Plate up some fennel slaw and toss with the dressing. Serve the just-cooked halibut with the cool slaw on flat bread or over brown rice.

A week of not breathing, consuming a lot of information and 1/4 of a cake, crashing (happily) into lots of wonderful people, heartfelt talks that sometimes got a little too heated for any real ideas to be born, and I’m not ready for a weekend of relaxation. When a physical to-do list is as long as the other list you make in your head that tells you that you’re never going to see the end, burnout is inevitable. It always is – at least for me – quite spectacular.

As it usually goes with overwhelming times, I retreat. We were promised a week of personality-exploding sunshine and it was delivered. Everybody was happy. They said so with their brightly-printed clothing choices and general willingness to have more of a conversation instead of hurrying away from the rain. Right now, it’s raining…a bit. I can hear duck babies (SPRING!) outside and how the heck did the clock just strike 11 pm?! Days go by too fast. Catching up seems impossible.

Maybe I should stop trying. I gained so much since the last time we spoke. Not enlightenment, but ideas….that I feel strange sharing on my half brain-half food blog. I volunteered at Ladies Rock Camp for the second time and I never, ever come back from there as the same person. Let’s just say I will no longer respond with anger to a system that has been in place since the beginning of time. It’s a simple question: Do you believe women should have rights that are equal to what a man enjoys? If you say yes, then HEY! You’re a feminist. No matter what you identify as. I hardly know much of this struggle but I will call you out if you resort to archaic ideas of describing people and situations. We’re much more empowered with ideas today and I feel very grateful that I have a strong female community to go back to every time I need to be sat down in a spinning chair and have my mind blown.

Oh! I can’t forget my country has a new Prime Minister and news flash: He’s a mass murderer. These are my views and maybe if I was in India, I’d have this post taken down. If you’re in the US, the country from where I write this, you probably don’t care considering the news media here is still infatuated with Conservative V/s Liberal. I wrote a piece for a Seattle-based news blog so if you want to know more about the world’s largest democracy, this is where you can go. From the stand point of food, this election is everything. The last government allowed the entry of the crazies like Wal Mart and Tesco, and you know how amazing that always is for the small farmer. This to-be Prime Minister shouted his development plans for the country and maybe that was how he won. I just don’t see anything realistic about development when Wal Mart is in the same sentence. Meanwhile, our farmers are still killing themselves over the inability to pay back the smallest of small loans (If you measure the cost in dollars) after failed crops. I have this idea of starting a website to crowd source money directly to these farm families. I know I would need to do a lot of ground survey work because people won’t just put money into something invisible. If you know someone who is already doing this, please direct me to them. I would love to help. If not, this is my seed of an idea. Consider sharing it. I am not the most intelligent person if you stick me in a classroom full of people studying social policy but I feel it’s okay to have an idea.

This weather update from 40 minutes ago is brought to you by Matt’s inherited Westminster-chiming clock: I just saw sun.

So I’ll take that as a sign that this day is precious. For some it might be painful but oh these times, they just don’t wait around for us.

“…Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting —
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.”

– an excerpt from Wild Geese by Mary Oliver

I knew I wanted to try socca as soon as I saw it as a part of this recipe. It’s so easy so why not? I can answer that. I had a big bag of besan (chickpea flour) in the kitchen which I had used only once in an attempt to make khandvi. That was a big mistake. First of all, I was warned how insane such an act would be and second of all, it tasted so chickpea-y flour-y. That’s supposed to be a good thing, I know. But I’ve eaten plenty of bhajji and pakodas to know that this was a very foreign-tasting chickpea flour. I wanted to work it out between us and so I did. With lemon. Chickpea flour and I have been good friends since then. The toppings were courtesy a fridge clean-up.

Ingredients

For the socca

Adapted from Dolly and Oatmeal

1/2 cup (75 gm) chickpea flour/ besan
1/2 cup warm water
A pinch of salt
1/2 tsp fresh ground pepper
1/2 tsp lemon juice
1 tbsp olive oil + a tsp more to coat a skillet

For the walnut pesto

113 gm fresh basil leaves
1/4 cup parmesan cheese, grated
4-6 garlic cloves, depending of their size (4 for large and 6 if they’re small)
1/4 cup walnuts, coarsely chopped
1/8 cup + 2 tbsp olive oil
Salt to taste

For the vegetable toppings

1 medium crown broccoli, chopped into small pieces
1/4 cup fresh or frozen peas
1 whole green onion/scallion, chopped into rounds
A handful of fresh herbs like thyme, oregano and chives, (a tbsp of each, if I was guessing)
A squeeze of lemon juice

Pre-heat the oven to 450 degrees F and lightly coat the bottom of a 9-inch cast iron skillet with some olive oil. In a medium bowl, whisk together all the ingredients for the socca. Break down all the flour lumps and let it sit for 30 minutes.

In a food processor, add the basil leaves and cheese and let them blend on a high-speed. Turn off the machine and use a spatula to guide the leaves that stick to the side, back to where the blades are. Turn the processor back on and add the garlic, walnuts and olive oil (<in a thin stream) to the almost pesto. If you feel like you need more olive oil, add it one tablespoon at a time. Let it all blend into a smooth paste and then set it aside.

Once the oven is sufficiently heated, place the cast-iron skillet on a rack in the middle for about 5-7 minutes. Pull it out of the oven (safely. The handle will be hot), give the chickpea flour mix one last big stir and pour it into the skillet. Use the handle to spread it all around, until it’s one large, yellow pancake. Put it in the oven for 8 minutes and let it cook on the bottom. Pull out the skillet and using a high heat-safe spatula, carefully flip over the socca. You’ll know it’s ready when it pulls away from the edge of the skillet. Put the skillet back in the oven for two more minutes and it’s done.

This step can be done while the socca is in the oven. Chop about 1/2 cup to a cup of broccoli into small pieces and steam it along with the peas. Cut up the green onions, chives and de-leaf (is that a word? It is now) the thyme and oregano so it’s ready to go on the perfect finger food.

Now back to the socca, place it on a serving plate and spread a generous amount of pesto on the top. Add the broccoli, peas and green onions and sprinkle with fresh herbs. Squeeze a little bit of lemon juice on the top and serve warm.

Happiest of eating times!

(Note: You will have more pesto than this recipe requires, which I promise, is a very good thing. Use it on eggs, sandwiches and on pasta. It also freezes well, if your self-control allows you to let it stay around that long.)

Shout out + Seared halibut with herbed fennel slaw

Spring-y socca flatbread with walnut pesto – This wild goose