Meet my step children. The reason I’m not as lonely as I make myself out to be (sometimes).
This is the older one but he’s smaller than the younger one. If he could talk, he’d say:
“I hate that broom.”
“The blender is out to get me.”
“My life changes for the better every time you open the balcony door.”
“I love socks…especially yours.”
This is the younger one but he’s much bigger than the older one. If he could talk he’d say:
“Is that a banana? Can I have all of it?”
“Are we really going out? Right now? Forever?”
“I just drank 2 drops of water. I think my bladder is full. Can we go out now?”