Trying to stay Goan.

(looks for Red Bull. realises she doesn’t drink Red Bull. hands in the air like you just don’t care)

Either I needed a mighty boost of confidence for writing this recipe or I earned one after trying it myself. I cannot decide the tone I want to go for. My mother might roll her eyes at me as mother’s all do but I won’t be there to see it. I’m a thousand miles away from the land I call home. The sun’s on my side and my family is unmistakably tucking into afternoon leftovers and bread.

I’m the one who should be rolling my eyes or throwing a tantrum at my proximity to a home cooked meal. But hell, I got some skills. I can cook stuff up to. Yes, this is what I usually do. My need for a particular taste is not always in sync with Indian Standard Time. While I prefer my mother snapping a picture of a recipe from that famous blue book (if you’re Goan, you’ll know), I don’t always get my way. Especially if it’s 1.30 am.

The Internet is not always friendly too. If only all the world’s problems could be cured by the #1 most annoying search engine result allrecipes.com. Alas, it sucks. If you don’t know any better, more so.

So I did what I do best. I shut my eyes and imagined everything as it was in my family’s kitchen.

And then, this happened.

Ingredients

• 30 gms cilantro (or 1 American sized bunch)
• 50 gms coconut
• 1/2 small onion
• 2 cloves garlic
• 1 tsp ginger, grated
• 1 green chili, chopped (I used a Serrano pepper)
• 2 tbsp lemon juice
• 1/2 tsp sugar
• 1/4 tsp cumin powder
• 1 1/2 tbsp oil (I used peanut oil)
• 2 tsp mustard seeds
• Salt to taste

That’s all we have for today, folks. See ya next week!

Okay since you’re arm-twisting, here’s what I got for you.

Apart from the oil and mustard seeds, place all the ingredients into a blender. Fun, right? Add 2 tbsp of water to the mix and blend. If you watch closely, you’ll notice the contents coming together like a paste. Give it about 1 minute, turn it off, stir and then turn it back on. If yours isn’t yet forming into a paste, add a tbsp more of water (slowly) through the opening on top of the blender while it’s still on. The slower you go with water-addition, the less likely you are to get a watery chutney. Those are the worst! Once you’re done, scoop out the chutney in a bowl. Add salt to taste. If the chutney doesn’t have a slightly sour taste, add a bit more lemon juice.

Heat the oil on a pan and then add mustard seeds to it. I also added a sprinkle of whole cumin seeds because I felt like it. No real reason when flavour is in season. Once they start to pop, quickly take the pan off the flame and pour the mustard-y oil on top of the chutney and stir it around.

This is a pre-stirred around picture.

In Goa, we eat this on sandwiches (one side butter, other side chutney) or as a something on the side with our pulao, which I will be making this week. Hopefully I will have motherly help this time.

Though I’m sure I won’t. I guess I’ll resign myself to after-the-fact-comparisons.

Now eat!